Someone Sometime

Recently, I read an article about the challenges of being a perfectionist in today's society. I was reminded of Roy Hunter's words, "Not all therapies work for everyone all the time. However, some therapies work for someone sometimes." If we only focused on therapies that worked on everyone, all the time, the world would be a much poorer place.

Some of my clients are anxious to see immediate results when they come to see me; well, there is nothing wrong that expectation. It's just that these clients are, unfortunately, setting themselves up for disappointment.

Yes, contrary to what some people may believe, creating disappointment takes effort. First, you must have an unrealistic goal, experience the first taste of opposition, then fail to achieve your desired outcome. An all-or-nothing mentality makes it hard to accept anything else but perfection.

This article is about how some of us (definitely not all of us) will sometimes (definitely not all the time) want everything all the time, especially the perfectionists amongst us.

As we reflect on how we were taught to acquire knowledge when we were young, we realize that teachers expect us to understand and retain everything that was taught. These days kids are even expected to know things that they were never taught. If we did not understand when we first read a book, we were told to read it again, not knowing what to look out for. We are encouraged to try harder, again and again, towards perfection.

However, repetition, as we know, does not necessarily lead to mastery and knowledge.

So why is it that we aim for a full 100 marks when the passing mark is 50? Should the "passing" mark be set higher or is 50 good enough? Does this expectation serve us? Do we need all of the information all the time?

Why is it that we want everything we can get our hands on? How satisfied will we be when we only get some but not all?

When the doctor advises reduction of salt intake, do you stop taking salt totally? Personally, I will still take salt but in moderation. So perhaps, what we really need instead is a new paradigm.

I am someone who believes in taking things in moderation. What about you? Can you accept being someone sometimes?

- edited by Jan

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