Do you see RED?

Posted: 21 Aug 2012 | anger management, coaching, emotion control, mindfulness, mindful, self-hypnosis,

Do you see RED?

He makes me so angry! How can anyone say that! Only someone as insensitive and rude as him can write an email this way!

It hurts me that she does says does this to me!

Does this sound familiar to you?

Many of us encounter calls and emails that elicit reactions: Joy, sadness, anger, puzzlemment, and often the emotion at the top of our list is Anger.

Some people would say that it's good to express anger, it's akin to letting off steam, being real, and it makes them feel better. Have you ever thought about whether it really makes you feel better?

Have you noticed that after you have vented, that all you feel is exhaustion and no joy?

You might then ask, what then, can I do?

Holding the space between stimulus and response

When you feel the anger rise up like a hot air balloon, and instead of venting, take a deep breath, hold it for 3 secs and let it out. Ask: What is unfair?

You will find contemplating this question brings you into a reflection, and trust me, whilst you are thinking, your anger fades.

Tools and methods

Just as all roads lead to Rome, there are countless ways to find solutions to managing anger.

Meditative practice, being mindful, breathing techniques, self hypnosis, and of course, exercise!

Emotional Regulation - being the best you

One senior executive and a great manager once said to me, that one of the most important things a leader must have is emotional stability. At a deeper level, we manage anger for no one else, but ourselves.

Choosing  to be angry takes up useful time, colours all subsequent interactions, diminishes joy, and stops us from peceiving people and things in the right frame of mind. And often, we bring our work anger back home.

Now what did our family do to deserve our left-over anger? Being our best emotional has huge repercussions for our family and the quality of our life, can you and will you choose a better way?


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